How to be a Good Friend: Squad Goals

Issa + Molly got me thinking about my #SquadGoals.

What I've learned is that friendships can be finicky. People are petty and we're all so concerned about getting "likes" that we've forgotten how to treat our friends. We need to to get it together!

Friends are special because they're the family that we actually choose. They make moments in life more pleasurable. With a friend, you can share laughter or pain. Most of my best moments in life were shared with friends, like my wedding or 30th birthday or drunken bad decisions in my 20s. 

However, in order to be a  pal and confidante, we need to practice mindfulness + treat our friends better.

But how you ask? Don't worry--I got you! 

Here are my five suggestions on how to be a good friend.

Listen when your friends want to vent.

Don't interrupt and don't add unsolicited advice or any advice for that matter. A good friend will actively listen and allow their homegirl to share her frustrations without judgment or making any comparative statements such as "if it was me I would ...". No one cares at that given moment.

Text your friends during tv shows.

There's nothing that brings as much entertainment to my life as watching reality shows on VH1 and Bravo. My Sunday and Monday are always lit thanks to these mind numbing shows about housewives with no actual husbands. The only thing that makes it better is texting friends during the show and using phrases like "I just can't" and "WHY????".

Tag your friend on funny memes.

If Black Twitter were a real place I'd move there and then run for office. In the meantime, I live for a good meme. It brings such simple joy to my life and often captures my exact mood at that moment. As a good friend, I just have to spread the humor with the homies. It's an uncomplicated way to really brighten your friend's day; especially during tough times. 

Don't tell your friend's business.

All girls love the tea! However, if your friend entrusts you with her private information you cannot share it with others because it violates her trust and chances are it's going to get back to her. Plus that's just rude and hurtful. Instead, talk about a celebrity's newest shenanigan. Beyonce is always in the headlines + now that Sir and Rumi are hear there's so much to discuss. Oh and Kim and Kanye hired a surrogate for baby number 3. 

Empower your friend.

Iron sharpens iron and birds of a feather flock together. A good friend should be supportive and encouraging. You are often a reflection of the people in your inner circle. It's important to surround yourself with winners aka goal diggers. If you and your girls are radiating greatness and dripping black girl magic, others will look at your friendship and aspire to level up to your #squadgoals.

BONUS TRACK: And just for fun...finish the song verse then go text your friend or put heart emojis on her last Instagram post + add "BAE."

And if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me a day the card attached would say "________".   

--Ar'Sheill Monsanto